I still occasionally have little small breakdowns. I always feel like I see him whenever I walk through the door. I just can't believe he is gone. I expected him to always be here. I have never had a dog and never had to make such a choice. My husband would bring up the fact that Dakota is getting old and I would get angry about it. Even making the choice for Dakota I would get mad if he said it was time. I would say it wasn't his choice to make. He just put up with my outbursts. Having his ashes is something that I never thought I would do. But when all the things were delivered to me a couple of weeks later I was glad that I kept them. My step daughter came through the door right after the lady left and I was just sitting on the stair crying. Then I should her all the things that we received and her first suggestion was to put the box of his ashes on the mantle. I did and then we talked about it. It gave some comfort to know he was there.
There is a place called Animal Amour that I have used occasionally in the past and often towards the end of Dakota's life. She would come in and just hang out with the boys for an hour. I told her about the services that you provide. She asked me for the information which I just sent her. I would've never thought to have Dakota put to sleep here. I asked my vet and they said that they could come here to do it. But, Dakota knew him and it was never good. When my friend gave me your card it helped knowing what I was going to do for Dakota. Joni at Animal Amour wants to spread the word. It's a wonderful thing that you do and I am somewhat at ease knowing that the little guy here (Rambo) is going to get the same respectful and loving care that you gave Dakota.
I would like to include how much you did for us from the moment I saw you walking towards our front door. You opened your arms as soon as you saw me crying. You knew what I was going through and what I would be going through. And I love you for doing that for me. I send this picture of both of our boys just because they were never apart. Dakota just kind of put up with Rambo laying on top of him all the time as well as Rambo always getting in his space. I will send one of just Dakota alone in another email. Don't know how to send two at a time.
I want to tell you how much I appreciate the way that you handled our loss. Not sure if I am handling it like I should. I can't talk about it for one thing. I just break down and sob. I'm not sure I am handling all this like I should. I would spend all my time with our two pooches. But I have these horrible urges to beat the snot out of someone. I feel angry and I have no idea why I am angry. Then I look at Rambo our little yorkie and it brings me back to reality. I am told that each day gets a little better. I don think it is. I am giving it time but it is hard to even get through an hour without crying. I know that Rambo is struggling worse than I am I think. He paces and any little sound outside by our door he runs and barks and then runs to the patio door and just stares. Sometimes he just lays by the door. My heart breaks for him. Just venting.
Thank you so much!! Again I need to tell you the appreciation I have for you and all that you do.